How to Be a Better Mentor — Even If Nobody Taught You How
You Were Never Taught This
You got trained to read imaging, manage a ventilator, or run a research lab. Nobody sat you down and taught you how to mentor another human being through the confusing, high-stakes landscape of an academic medical career.
And yet, here you are. A junior faculty member asked if you would be their mentor. You said yes because someone did it for you once -- or because nobody did, and you wished they had.
Either way, you are now winging it. That is the norm in academic medicine, and it is a problem worth fixing.
The Inherited Model Is Broken
Most of us mentor the way we were mentored. If your mentor was hands-off, you might default to being hands-off. If they were prescriptive, you might find yourself telling your mentee exactly what to do. Neither extreme serves people well.
A 2010 study by Straus et al. in Academic Medicine examined what distinguishes successful mentoring relationships from failed ones. The findings were striking. Failed mentorships weren't caused by lack of expertise. They were caused by mismatched expectations, poor communication, and lack of commitment. In other words, the relationship skills -- not the content knowledge -- determined whether mentoring worked.
You don't need to be the smartest person in your department to be a great mentor. You need to be intentional about how you show up.
Five Things Effective Mentors Actually Do
I have worked with hundreds of physicians across career stages, and the best mentors I have observed share a handful of habits. None of them are complicated. All of them are uncommon.
They ask more than they tell. The instinct in medicine is to diagnose and prescribe. Mentoring is different. When a mentee brings you a problem, resist the urge to immediately solve it. Ask what they have already considered. Ask what is making the decision hard. You are building their judgment, not replacing it.
They set expectations early. How often will you meet? What does the mentee want to get out of this? What are you willing to help with, and what falls outside your lane? A ten-minute conversation about structure at the beginning prevents months of drift and disappointment.
They follow up. If your mentee told you last month they were submitting a grant, ask how it went. If they were dealing with a difficult colleague, check in. This sounds basic. It is also the thing most mentors fail to do. Following up signals that you are paying attention and that the relationship matters to you.
They are honest about what they don't know. You do not have to have all the answers. If your mentee asks about a career path you have never walked, say so. Then help them find someone who has. The best mentors are connectors, not gatekeepers.
They make room for the person, not just the career. Academic medicine has a way of reducing people to their CVs. A good mentor asks about more than publications and grants. They notice when someone seems off. They create space for the conversation behind the conversation. As Kerry Ann Rockquemore writes in Mentoring in Academia and Beyond, effective mentoring accounts for the whole person -- not just the professional trajectory.
The Mentee's Job Matters Too
Mentoring is a two-way street. I have written before about how to find a mentor in academic medicine, and one thing I emphasize is that good mentees show up prepared, follow through on what they say they will do, and respect their mentor's time.
If you are mentoring someone who is not holding up their end, it is okay to name that. A direct conversation about expectations is not harsh. It is respectful.
You Don't Have to Be Perfect at This
Here is the part that matters most: being a better mentor does not require a certification or a weekend workshop. It requires paying attention, asking better questions, and being willing to reflect on whether what you are doing is actually helping.
Most departments have no formal mentor training. That means every physician who decides to be more intentional about mentoring is raising the floor for their entire institution.
Start with one mentee. Set expectations. Show up consistently. Ask more than you tell. That is the whole playbook.
Learn about how coaching for departments can help build a stronger mentoring culture.
